不爱我,放了我

7.44 pm . Good evening !! Everyone must be really confused of my sleeping pattern lol. Just got out of bed and guessed what I dreamt about of all things ? Liverpool overcoming and celebrating their victory over Benfica in the Champions League. Whether it is true or not we will soon know, however, it is of irrelevance, bleh whatever... A blog is supposed to be a blog rite ? Whether it makes sense or you just uttering rubbish.

Anyway head is aching badly, cough, sneezing and flu for almost a week and for the first time in 3 1/2 years I do not have somebody beside to take care of me. To say I'm lonely is probably an under-statement.

Why do you ask about the Blog when you say its "old stuff" and "I dont need these stuff". Well, I could have easily blown this compilation into pieces with a press of the button, but I did not. In contradictary to that, I've even bothered to upload a photo and link it to the pic that has already dissapeared. Don't read it if you don't want to, however , since it was a pact between you and me to start the blog I swear I will continue to maintain.

Was suprised you sms me last night, to be honest I did not wanna reply cause I was really tired and already on my passage to dreamland.. "How're you ?" one blurly look at my HP tells me how much you've changed. I rarely get few word smses. Not to mention 1 in 4-5 days.

Are you really concerned about me ? Do you really want to know what are my plans for the future ? Do you really think I'm slacking in my own world while you are working your ass off ? Do you think I am not doing enough to prove that I can provide your needs in future so you don't want marriage ? Do you feel that you've always felt insecure with me.

Are these thoughts running through your mind ? I may not understand you as much as you understand me but you've know me for 1272 days as of today. If you challenge me to anything, I will more than take up your offer. My immediate plans I know for myself presently, and the Father has set for me in future. I do not have obligations to reveal to anyone except that I don't intend to "slack in my own world" if you think I'm gonna slip and fall half-way I'm sorry you have under-estimated me.

Havent you told my mum once that I have a stubborn nature and whatever I wanted I will go all out to get it ? Getting your Love back is one thing I shall not go all out to get, its not worth it. I'm sorry, already too tired trying to do that.

Stubborn nature has 2 kinds, the good and bad. Bad = stubborn in not willing to listen and change for the better. Good = The kinda character which makes you stubborn to achieve what goals you set in life, in another sense the term called 'determination'. I believe that I possess both qualities, however as to what weightage I'm not sure.

I did not even have my daily nicotine dosage today, no mood to go out, don't understand why I'm blogging so much recently either, with loud music blasting in my room. Certain things just cannot be explained, like how you changed. When it happens it happens and theres nothing anybody can do about it. Not even yourself. Unfotunately...

Tomorrow will be the first day I return to camp in one week, happy or sad ? Well, there was renovation going on and to be honest I'm no longer involved in whatever is happening in the Orderly Room in Selarang Camp. Understudy has taken over. But it's a Friday tmr so a one day thing I guess.

Day after tomorrow Timothy will be returning to Australia to finish his last phase of education. Oh how un-willing of him, just do your best, you have 9 mnths while mine will take 2 years. Gregory has also joined the kangaroo gang. How's life over there Greg ? I know you are bored, received your call yesterday and am glad that you have more or less settled into your new place. Thank you for your friendship all these years (10+), you're a friend who is a REAL friend, sometimes more than a friend, a classic example of what real brothers should treat each other. Your new girl-friend must be a real lucky girl to get some1 like Greg, I hope God bless both of you blissfully.

I will miss the entire crazy gang. Timothy & Greg in australia, Roy, Ian, Thomas, Edwin and let's not forget Andrew. Still remember the Initial D days in my car ? The drunkardness @ Fareast stone-table ? The madness at devils bar, MU ? Soccer every Sunday ? Virtual Striker 4 at Bishan ?

Some of you may have already settled down with your love ones, as for others, I pray that you will sooner rather than later find your life partner :)

-Geoffrey signing off at 9.03 pm